How travel affects relationships: the psychologist answers
Together with Dolphi and psychologist Tatyana Larina, we figured out how travel really affects relationships: they strengthen or destroy, and whether it is possible with their help to restore the lost understanding.
I see a purpose, but I do not see obstacles
Preparing for a trip is fun. Thinking over a route together, choosing to go to the Louvre or having a drink in Montmartre, making a list of must-see places – all this is an extremely exciting and enjoyable part of preparing for a trip. And, if you do this together, then this definitely contributes to rapprochement, because from this moment you have a common plan, which only you know about so far.
The trip will show you how you can find a compromise
All people are different and you and your soul mate, including. Someone wants to smoke on the beach, and someone wants to go on an excursion – and what to do? For some, such a discrepancy can become a stumbling block, while someone will discuss the problem and find a solution. If you easily find a compromise and do not have any disputes, we congratulate you, you seem to be a perfect couple.
Tatiana Larina: In order to easily find a compromise and not quarrel, a couple needs to think about how to achieve both one and the second goal. If someone wants to lie on the beach, and someone on an excursion, then you need to understand how to allocate time for both activities. If someone definitely does not want to engage in this or that type of pastime, it is necessary to understand as far as possible so that one of the couple does it. It is important that the discussion takes place without resentment or mutual claims. It should be a common solution that is comfortable for two.
If two are uncomfortable with this, you can always choose the middle option. For example, instead of a big excursion, go for a walk along the nearby streets and, at the same time, set aside time during it to calmly relax in the park and sunbathe. It is important to understand that compromise and cooperation is the case when both partners are looking for a solution, not just one.
An important point! We remind you: safe travel is with insurance, and safe romantic travel is with Dolphi. Choose your version from the new line!
Travel is always full of adventure and sometimes not the most pleasant one. We arrived at the Airbnb apartment, but the owner does not answer, slammed the door of the apartment, leaving the keys inside, got a fine, forgetting to buy a ticket on public transport – after a while, you will retell these stories with a laugh to your friends, but during the trip these situations can become a trigger. which will showcase the “dark side” of your partner. This is just the case when you can see the best possible behavior of a person when he is tired, irritated, how he overcomes difficulties and what role he assigns to you in this process.
“Recently, my boyfriend and I returned from a week trip to Tenerife. On the island, we decided to rent a car, but the only caveat is that the guy, as it turned out, drove the last time 2 years ago. But this is an island, saturated traffic was not expected, and the gearbox was “automatic”, so they decided to take the car. And everything was fine until we decided to go to the Teide volcano. The usual road very soon turned into serpentines, which were not protected by anything from the abyss. The extreme turned out to be the same, but we went through this situation calmly. Even though I was scared to hell, I supported Artyom, we did it, and upon arrival he first signed up for driving in order to regain his forgotten skills. In general, we had enough impressions, but it made us even more united ”, – says Christina.
A trip of at least a week is the best check for compatibility, because you will be there for 24/7 travel. If this is your person, then these 7 days will fly by like a moment and you will definitely want to continue, and if that same travel alchemy is not there, then you should think about whether you are suitable for each other.
Is travel compatibility always an indicator of life compatibility?
Tatiana Larina: I can say that what we can see in a person on a trip is one of the parameters, but this does not mean the whole life. Maybe someone, in principle, does not particularly like to travel, but is very comfortable in home situations. Therefore, this is just one of the points that you should pay attention to. What matters is how you handle stressful situations. And, if you cannot go through a stressful situation together: only one person passes through, and the second person either does not participate, or they do not hear him, then it may very well be that it will be so in later life.
Test drive of life at home
If you and your partner do not yet live together, but during the trip you rented an apartment, then a joint trip will also be an opportunity to find out better what your partner is in everyday life. A lover of throwing socks around the apartment or a reference neat? Master chef or an admirer of semi-finished products? The trial version of cohabitation will show this as well as possible.
What if during your trip you spot some everyday trifle that annoys you? Should we say it right away or not rush things and find fault with trifles?
Tatiana Larina: The best solution is to speak out the situation when it arose, without postponing until later. When we procrastinate, we may show the wrong reaction. For example, you didn’t like something and you kept silent, and the person thought it was tacit agreement and acceptance of such things. If you don’t like something, tell me about it; if you understand that the person will not do this and will not be corrected – think about whether you can always correct this thing and whether then it will strain your partner. For example, when we shift other people’s things. This is also worth discussing with your partner and together find a way out that will satisfy you. And this will be one of the indicators of how you find the moment of joint activities and solutions in small everyday issues. Remember, if someone throws something around the house and he has always done so, he will continue to do so. Can you live with it? Okay then. Can’t and this will be the boiling point? Then it is worth saying this and letting the person know that under such circumstances you will always live in a scandal.
The main thing in this story is the aftertaste. Ask yourself an honest question: “How do I feel at the end of the trip?” Deep down, are you glad to finally get some rest from each other? Consider why you have this feeling. Upon arrival, you are already planning your next trip, monitoring profitable air tickets and anticipating with a sense of pleasant bliss how you will open a new city or country with your partner? Well, congratulations, it seems you got the lucky ticket.
Tatiana Larina: Any joint activity always shows how we go through conflict situations, whether we bring problematic moments to a conflict or we solve them as soon as they arise. Are we going to cooperate with each other, are we looking for a way out and hear each other, how much we can agree with the opinion of another person and respect another person, and, yes, at this moment a joint trip really tells a lot about us to other people and us about them. So be sure to go on a journey together, go through these situations and you will find out if you can be good friends or really become a great couple.